Krishna's love was pure ...
Yesterday was Krishna Janamashtami … I have grown up seeing Krishna Jhanki’s in our grandparent’s house and celebrations of this auspicious day throughout my growing up years.
Two years back during my sales training in UP, I also had the good fortune of visiting Mathura for half a day before catching the bus to Delhi for our mid month meeting when I saw the cell and visited the birthplace of the little lord. I call him little because that’s the image that has always fascinated me. Maybe because I love children too much and Krishna was indeed an exceptional child especially in his naughtiness. I remember my mother’s complains that we were very naughty as children (me and my twin were quite a handful) and we have had tales told of our childhood antics. I guess a child is very much uninhibited and pure and the child Krishna embodied it to perfection.
Drawn into thinking about my childhood and my carefree nature I remembered that I was quite a different child from the grown up I had become today. Quiet and content I used to love spending time with myself always. I was extremely idealistic and had always wanted and dreamt of a perfect life and an ever after kind of love.
Then somewhere along the way I lost my trust. There seemed to be no ideal situations in my life or in the lives of those around me. My world was shattering. People broke my trust and with it took away my childhood my innocence from me.
But they say its darkest before dawn and hope returned, and with it brought back my childhood dreams and trust. I against felt happy from inside, laughter filled my being as I saw the same dream again and this time I didn’t want to let it go. As I sat in uncertainty remembering the purity and uninhibitedness of Krishna’s love I acknowledged the power of pure love and the blessing. But clouds still thundered on my horizon. Could the dreams be shattered again? Is my lord so unforgiving? Wont I get another chance to rebuild my world or will I be punished for having lost my faith
Two years back during my sales training in UP, I also had the good fortune of visiting Mathura for half a day before catching the bus to Delhi for our mid month meeting when I saw the cell and visited the birthplace of the little lord. I call him little because that’s the image that has always fascinated me. Maybe because I love children too much and Krishna was indeed an exceptional child especially in his naughtiness. I remember my mother’s complains that we were very naughty as children (me and my twin were quite a handful) and we have had tales told of our childhood antics. I guess a child is very much uninhibited and pure and the child Krishna embodied it to perfection.
Drawn into thinking about my childhood and my carefree nature I remembered that I was quite a different child from the grown up I had become today. Quiet and content I used to love spending time with myself always. I was extremely idealistic and had always wanted and dreamt of a perfect life and an ever after kind of love.
Then somewhere along the way I lost my trust. There seemed to be no ideal situations in my life or in the lives of those around me. My world was shattering. People broke my trust and with it took away my childhood my innocence from me.
But they say its darkest before dawn and hope returned, and with it brought back my childhood dreams and trust. I against felt happy from inside, laughter filled my being as I saw the same dream again and this time I didn’t want to let it go. As I sat in uncertainty remembering the purity and uninhibitedness of Krishna’s love I acknowledged the power of pure love and the blessing. But clouds still thundered on my horizon. Could the dreams be shattered again? Is my lord so unforgiving? Wont I get another chance to rebuild my world or will I be punished for having lost my faith
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posted by shruti @ 5:40 AM
8 Comments:
At Wednesday, 05 September, 2007,
Suchintya said…
As the saying goes, even if in the last moment of life, you take the name of God in real earnest all your sins are forgiven. And you have a whole lifetime awaiting you to do that.
From what little I know of you, you have come to believe in yourself totally. Just don't shake that. Rest will take care of itself.
At Wednesday, 05 September, 2007,
shruti said…
@suchintya - well said again . You seem to have deep insights and I thought very few could understand. This time I wont lose my faith because I have earned it with experiential learnings .
At Friday, 07 September, 2007,
Arun said…
Lucky you.. I feel at a loss when I realize that I haven't been to Mathura. That too, having visited Agra and having killed a day or two doing nothing worthwhile. But then, I am drawn to Krishna only in recent times, a feeling that was not there when I was in those parts..
At Sunday, 09 September, 2007,
shruti said…
@ yes mathura is a lovely place.. I couldnt go to vrindavan thou ..since I had to catch a bus at 4 ...
At Wednesday, 12 September, 2007,
Born Too Soon said…
Grow! but let the child in you never grow!! Easy to write but very difficult to follow!!
Reminds me of what mum used to say about horses! As kids we are like wild horses, masters of our destiny, when we grow up...we are somehow domesticated...and need directions at every point...sometimes we get them right...sometimes wrong...but you keep movin.....
At Wednesday, 12 September, 2007,
shruti said…
@sushanth - beautiful thought ...as children we had more of free will and were more connected to who we were ..as we grow up we get conditioned by our environment and need to rediscover life ... but I guess thats the challenge too ..
At Wednesday, 12 September, 2007,
ToOothlEss WOndeR! said…
**Then somewhere along the way I lost my trust. There seemed to be no ideal situations in my life or in the lives of those around me.
i guess as we grow older we begin to ask too many questions: questions that may not - more often than not- have pretty answers. And life gets complicated, and trust just goes away.
solution: back up answers with justifications.
most of the time the justification to me is simply that the person must have a reson to have acted the way he/she did, and if you could say that to yourself with enough conviction, you're back in the wonder years.
But i must say i'm happier now than i was at twelve, for htere are no report cards now, and no pimple-popping pretty girls!
At Wednesday, 12 September, 2007,
shruti said…
@toothless wonder - thanks . you are right everyone has a justification for what they do cos its human nature to justify whatever we do ..even terrorists have justifications for their actions ..but one needs to learn to develop inner wisdom to understand the intentions behind the actions and thats what growing up is all about ..at the same time we need to retain the child in us and not lose faith and trust ..
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