A Method to the Madness !

I remember this aspect of my childhood quite clearly. Maybe because it was so much ingrained in us and we believed so vehemently in it that it has left its impact on the conscious self. Paradoxically the memory was equally strong as to the guilty memory of a white lie that I had spoken as a small child. Maybe because ignorance of something can itself be a crime.

Similarly in my ignorance I did and believed in what I was told and what my little selfish self thought would give me immense happiness and a happy ever after kind of life. Whoever fed that to little children that the goal of their lives was to only seek every material comfort for yourself right in the early years of their existence is still according to me not to be blamed in anyway. The choice always was with the child or in this case me.

And so I called myself a believer, one who knew that her savior was the Lord and she prayed reverently for all the things she wanted in this life to her Lord. She went to holy places and she asked for whatever was top on her priority list at that time. She would think about it, wait eagerly for God to fulfill her wishes and then feel saddened when they didn’t come true. She would then do the worst she would question her faith.

Years passed and she grew up. She started recognising that she was better off without some of the things she had wished and prayed for. She started realizing the unacknowledged blessings that she had in her life one of them being the set of friends she had and slowly she started rethinking about her beliefs and de-conditioning herself of her acquired beliefs. Then came the day when life took a 360 degree turn. She did not want to ask God for anything anymore. She just couldn’t! For two years all she asked God when she thought of him was to guide her, show her the path. It came spontaneously wherever she went, whichever holy place she visited. It was the only thought that ever came to her mind. It was her obsession.

And at last he relented in front of her will. With all the benevolence and kindness that he has always been attributed with he came with open arms and a heart filled to the brim with love and showed her the way. He believed in her as she had believed in him. And she realized that there was indeed great power in true faith and that there was indeed a strong method to the apparent madness of this world and she thanked him everyday

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