THE DENIAL

Why do we always seek reassurances? Aren’t we more obsessed with what is going on in someone else’s mind? We tend to spend more time in a day thinking what others around us think of us. Isn’t that a sign of weakness? A failing! Our inability to be able to assess our own selves or rather our dependence on other people’s acceptance of who we are. Doesn’t then our identity as it truly is become a farce? And if so why?

I believe that if there is fear behind anything we do (be it of any kind) then doing it is wrong. Fear of rejection, fear of loosing material things, fear of being misunderstood. Then we become this constant bundle of anxiety that is always trying to confirm to someone else’s reality, trying to please others and in essence killing their own independent identity and thoughts.

The other end of the spectrum is just as worse. By trying not to get affected by what other’s think or opiniate about us and going into a denial mode. Closing ourselves to any constructive feedback that people around us can provide. It is human nature to cling on to some defined existence. They cannot live is suspended beliefs, they have to choose between the two ends. Hence if we want to protect our self from the vulnerability of being exposed to external scrutiny we start mocking what others say or do. So much so that we start believing that only our thoughts, our way of living and doing things is right. This helps us preserve our self esteem as according to us the others around us are always wrong. Such people are the weakest and can only be identified to an ostrich that hides his head in the sand seeing the impending storm believing it will blow away without causing him any harm. Such people cocoon their existence to a false reality seen only by them.

Man is a social animal. This saying has a greater connotation when we understand that by mingling with others we are exposed to their good and bad. We learn new things about life, different perspectives. We need to imbibe the good we meet around us to constantly upgrade ourselves as human beings weeding out the bad in the bargain .Although we should give importance to other people’s opinion but it should be as a feedback mechanism . By preserving our identity as it is and evaluating a situation from a third person’s perspective we can actually improve the quality of our life and our thoughts. But sadly we choose to be at either ends - fear that forces us to be conformists or denial which makes us arrogant and shallow.

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