When did I stop believing in fairytales or did I?

In a world full of possibilities and the presence of the “unknown” one thing we all like to cling onto is HOPE. Each day is spent in hope and anticipation of the future .And if that is so do we ever stop believing in anything or is it that we just convince ourselves that something cannot happen based on our experience and sometimes merely for peace of mind .

This thought brings me to the dream nurtured by every little girl in her growing up years – that of the possibility of a fairytale in her life .But then do fairytales exist? What is love and more importantly what is “True Love”. I once read a quote that went – True Love is like a ghost that everyone talks about but few have seen. It made me wonder how much do we actually know about love that we can say that we are in love with someone. Are there any parameters for judging love? Set rules? Definitions? Poets and authors have been for generations trying to define this “elusive feeling” each giving his own interpretation but no common ground seems to have been sought till date.

Although I have just questioned the plausibility of trying to define or capture the essence of this deeply intense feeling called love I cannot but refrain myself from pointing out my views ( that spring from my very limited experience on this subject and my still young existence ) Humans beings by virtue of their nature cannot live in a world of suspended beliefs and are motivated by some hidden and unknown force ( that is how we convince ourselves) to take a stand ( of course on every possible subject under this sun – whether we are capable or not of this honor is a debatable question) and hence I cannot but succumb.

I strongly believe (and the rights and wrongs are always questionable) that love is the most abused and misinterpreted word of our times. Everything that one can feel for the opposite gender is termed as love either because it makes one happy to believe so or due to societal pressures to confirm. What’s worse is we also seem to have a set definition as to how a lover should behave , what he is expected to do , how he is supposed to woo , how many months he is supposed to chase his lady love , how should he propose , how should he pee ( oops sorry I got carried away ) etc .Of course any deviation ( read originality )would lead to fits of histrionics with ample amount of you don’t love me thrown in ( helped and assisted by unwanted advice and psychological analysis by everyone even remotely connected to you). Somehow it is the intrinsic property of this word love that evokes one and all to believe that they are scholars in the said discipline and can easily write a thesis on the same.

To me (and hence the views expressed are totally personal and not intended to be limiting on anyone) love is the most complex human emotion and one should have the freedom to feel and discover it on their own. Love is a feeling of such intense calm, peace and inner tranquility that it doesn’t need action or words to validate it .It is a spiritual feeling beyond physical and mental boundaries.

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Seeking Gaurantees when none exist !

Hey mind curry ..thanks for tagging me ..this gave me an opportunity to really think and structure some of what I feel ! .. Btw its not a cal perspective ..I would say its a "Shruti " perspective unique to her ! Also I wont be able to pull this through as I dont have any blogger pals except you and one more school friend and I dont track blogs due to lack of time ...

Here goes -

Rules of the game are...
1. The tagged victim has to come up with 8 different points of their perfect lover or partner. (yes, eight!! and different too!)
2. Need to mention the sex of the target
3. Tag 8 victims to join this game & leave a comment on their comments saying they’ve been tagged. (its helpful to leave a link to your post, just in case the victims misunderstand the word "tagged" and come after you)
4. If tagged the 2nd time, there’s no need to post again. ( not sure if you still can post if you are tired of your first "lover" already or something..)

Sex of the Person :male

The Imperfect guy ( there is no such thing as perfect/ ideal situations in life or persons and we love each other accepting their faults )


1) He needs to be intelligent, someone I can respect and admire and can lean on for support in my decisions.

2) Someone who is not a control freak and gives me the space to take my own decisions and learn from my mistakes. Should try to guide me and reason with me and not force his decisions on me.

3) He should be non judgmental because no one can really fully understand why a particular person behaves in a particular way as it is a function of their up bringing and circumstances and hence should be kind to people and to himself too.

4) He should be able to take failures as well as success in his stride and learn from adverse circumstances. Shouldn’t be too materialistic. Should have a spiritual outlook.

5) Should be a romantic and that doesn’t mean in love only, a person can be romantic in a thousand ways. Should be able to think and give little surprises.

6) Shouldn’t be hot tempered or prone to shout and fight. Should be calm and cool tempered.

7) Should be attractive and that can comes from a good personality and an intelligent and sensitive mind.

8) Should know what loving someone truly means and love me in its purest form.

9) Lastly ( and I am exceeding my limit ) He must let go and not hold on to bits and pieces of the past that are best forgotten ( most important thing in any relationship)
If you forgive me, then you must forget,
Or else, my dear, I’ll unforgiven go,
I couldn’t bear that all the things I have done,
Should be like scars that you must ever show.
I could not bear to think that any day,
The things I had hoped were buried in your mind,
Should be brought out again until new sins,
In little ghosts of old sins you should find.
So, dear, you must forget if you forgive,
There is no other way, so be quite sure,
Before you seal my happiness with smiles,
That those same smiles for all times will endure.

P.S. – Not written by me :-)

All Content including Pictures are Copyrighted 2006- 2008 © Shruti Bansal.
Copying or Using the content without permission is punishable and offenders will be liable for prosecution.

Do we or Don’t we?

Rationalization? This term has been haunting me for the past few days for reasons I cannot point my finger at but the uneasiness remains. The question that keeps arising in my mind is - Don’t human beings as a whole resort to rationalization as a tool in every decision and choice that they make in life and isn’t it that which keeps them sane. Imagine what mayhem would follow if we were to take random decisions. Wouldn’t one contradict the other? More so wouldn’t one be left wandering aimlessly in all directions?

But aren’t we deluding ourselves? Is it not so that only when we convince ourselves that the path that is untried actually doesn’t paint a rosy picture (amply helped by colleagues and friends who themselves no nothing or are maybe even at a tangent) do we feel satisfied that the path chosen is the right one . What could be more terrifying a thought that the truth of an assumed reality which we haven’t experienced. Isn’t such an existence the most morbid one that can spring for someone as evolved by God’s grace as a human being? What is then the solution to this if there is one? Isn’t innovating oneself constantly a way to move closer to a truth that is eluding us and is most of the times a fabrication of our or someone else’s imaginations ( read limited thought processes ) .But why we as human beings in the garb of society and moral values fear change ? Why do we chose a monotonous existence and are ready to accept only those who confirm to a forced reality. Why do we need to be conformists? Aren’t we moving backwards instead of progressing? The thought is saddening.

All Content including Pictures are Copyrighted 2006- 2008 © Shruti Bansal.
Copying or Using the content without permission is punishable and offenders will be liable for prosecution.