After the fall comes the rise!

I had always wanted to find my anchor but I ended up being one. Life as always has done its job and left me with more questions to answer but as usual the questions facing me are different and there is pleasure in searching and finding the answers like any good treasure hunt. Come to think of it I always liked treasure hunts or any adventure or mystery game.

Somehow every time I face my weaknesses in their face my will to live and my love for life become even stronger. The fascinating part about life is that it is made up of the pair of opposites like joy & sorrow, virtues & vices, strengths & weaknesses which actually contribute to an individual’s growth. And it is only in the realization of one that you can realize the other and hence learn.

But the problem that one faces is that of humility. Taking weakness for an example unless one is humble enough to acknowledge his human nature and subsequently his human weaknesses one cannot convert it to his strength and there is no shame in doing that. In fact to the contrary it requires huge amount of courage.

Different circumstances are placed before the self to bring to its awareness a particular human weakness, accept it and then convert it to its opposite value i.e. strength. In order to find yourself you need to loose yourself but like every thing in life it is a temporary phase whose value lies in its experience. One cannot always be strong because if you are strong all the time you are God and not human.

A person walking down the road happens to chance upon a rare and valuable diamond. He knows that possessing it will add value to him and it has been put in his path for that purpose. But to pick up the diamond he needs to stoop down. If he refuses to bend because that would demean him, that HE of all people can never put himself in such a position then he has foolishly let himself be ruled by his ego. It is a convenient escape route from facing a little temporary discomfort but results in the loss of something far more valuable.

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I felt again ....

After 10 years I wrote a poem again. It came from inside , out of the blue , when I was on a bus to a cave exploration trip early yesterday morning , enjoying and totally enthralled by the beauty and nature around me the words suddenly came to my mind in a flash like they used to so many years ago . I felt like sharing the same. I would not reproduce any of my older poems here as they were a Shruti at a different time and different state of mind. I am what I am today.

It goes as follows –


Jo Dard mein tute nahi who Insaan hai
Jo waqt ke samne jhuke nahi voh Balwan hai
Izzat Jo Chinti ki bhi kare who Bhagwan hai
Aur Pyar hi en Saab ki Pehchan hai

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Copying or Using the content without permission is punishable and offenders will be liable for prosecution.

Gandhi lives in me and through me!

I read a quote recently by Mahadev Bhai’s son, which went like this- “ If Truth is relevant, Gandhi is relevant.”

Gandhi can never die. Gandhi was a not just a man, a human being, he was an ideology, a belief, a way of life. Gandhi lives even today in different forms and through different beliefs all of which stem from that one universal essence or truth. He was one of the manifestations of that Truth albeit one from whom their is a lot to learn .

My fascination with Gandhi started very late in life. In my growing up years he was to me what he was to most kids of my generation, another role model espoused by adults and extremely boring, someone to be shunned, a moralist whose ideologies were crippling and deprived one of the independence of doing what we wanted to do, basically rebel against all rules. His ideologies were a burden too fantastic & crazy to be ever followed.

Moreover there was a different aspect altogether to Gandhi which children of my generation including me were confronted with and that was Gandhi bashing and from all quarters. Every one had an opinion and a take on how Gandhi was wrong or right especially parents. Faced with such confusing signals and exposed to the idea of critising Gandhi we grew up challenging the Father of the Nation without really understanding the essence of what Gandhian thought was all about or what he stood for.

As I got more involved with Gandhi and exposed to his thought processes over the course of the last year through various means including reading , plays, a chance meeting with a 90 yr old Gandhian , discussions ,etc. I started loving and admiring this amazing human being for his strength and solidarity , the essence of the eternal truth that he represented .

I believe in a thought which I read and which has helped me overcome prejudices and evolve as a human being – "Dont confuse the teacher with the lesson." Humans will have weakness but we shouldn’t allow those weakness to color what we need to learn from that human being . Similarly Gandhi being a human would have had his weaknesses too which again is debatable but there was so much to the man and so much to be learnt from him that those seemed miniscule and almost invisible in comparison.

When I saw the movie Gandhi my father, I was both deeply moved and deeply saddened . Moved because the movie revealed more about Gandhi and his persona through the eyes of his son, adding yet another beautiful flavor to him and saddened because of the mass reaction against the choices and decisions made by Gandhi . It was as if the movie was made with the thought to defame Gandhi and make a hero out of someone who could be best labeled a coward and a pimp . As the movie unfolded itself there was a strong urge in me to have been born as his son in that time . I would have had so much to learn and grow from what close proximity to Gandhi would have offered me . Throughout the movie it was evident that Gandhi put character growth and learning of an individual above educational and wordly degrees and learnings . He gave every opportunity to his son to build his character , his essence , come closer to the eternal flame inside him something that time and life has made me value much more than anything that this material world has to offer to me .

Then why was it viewed as a grave injustice, a breach of familial ties and relations , a betrayal of a son by a father ? Even reviews of the film criticized him . It pained me extremely that people missed the essence and greatness of Gandhi , his sacrifice of familial ties for what he thought was right , for the principles that he stood for, a sacrifice that only Gandhi would have understood and had the strength to endure.Why are we as a society so caught up in our neatly woven webs that we fail to hear the voice of our souls ? Family and everything around it in society has been put by us , a framework for our existence on earth . But today those very man made rules have become the shackles that bind us because we are afraid to challenge that which is stale . Can our choices not be different from what the majority choses and is the fear of condemnation greater that our essence , our core ? Majority wins and decisions are formed by the majority because each of us fears condemnation and would rather move with the flow .

We adore the adulation of the masses , and seek to justify our choices and existence through the eyes of others . But it gives us nothing but dissatisfaction in return as we chose to betray our core , move away from the truth . Gandhi as I see him never feared that , he was always true to himself , to what he was and that is what draws my admiration the most . Ofcourse since he didnt confirm to the dicates of man made boundaries he was & is seldom understood .

As I stand today at a cross road in my life I too have made a choice . I have decided I will no longer agree just because I want to please those who are the most precious to me , a part of me , because I fear them questioning what I am , my integrity , my love for them and ultimately when they are unable to find their answers their indifference . And in doing so I have placed everything I love and care for the most at stake . But as someone told me the only culprit is time and I shall bide my own . My world may burn down and crumble but I shall rise from the ashes to burn once more till the day of judgement comes when I can stand with my head held up and eyes that clearly & unflinchingly speak of the battles won .

All Content including Pictures are Copyrighted 2006- 2008 © Shruti Bansal.
Copying or Using the content without permission is punishable and offenders will be liable for prosecution.