A really amazing thing happened. And because I thought it was something that was impossible I feel compelled to pen it down. It may appear trivial to many especially those who cannot ever identify with this very basic fear that I had and which I still am not aware stems from what. But the change that has come has left me stunned as well as exhilarated.
I was always scared of dogs. For as long as I know I have lived with this mortal fear of being bitten by one, I have never set foot in the house of friends who had dogs and even if I dared they were made to chain their pets in some obscure corner of the house. This ridiculous aversion and fear had even translated into a very heart stopping (am sure extremely funny for the owner of the blood hound) experience of being chased by an Alsatian (BH) in the middle of a busy street in pune city. I am still trying to live down the humiliation of that incident. I wonder whether I set a new world record sorry inter Milky Way record for the fastest running by a life form amongst all life forms that can possible form part of his creation. Phew! I still end up gasping whenever I recollect the memory of that fateful day.
I live in a flat that I share with the landlady. I loved the flat at the first instance I saw it more than a year ago but for me my moon had its share of scars because my landlady possessed not one but two of these four legged creatures, a Labrador and a Golden retriever . I took a very bold decision and decided to move in after barricading a few doors and the entire balcony with wooden planks so that the creatures may never set sight upon me. The landlady heaved a sigh and obliged. For her they were her world and she treated them like her kids but alas! I failed to understand the relationship and she too refrained from trying. I never even bothered in 13 months to know their name.
It was on the journey to a temple cum beach town in Uttar Karnataka during the diwali time that fate had something else in store. A stray dog decided to take a liking to our group and came and sat near us. The dog was extremely quiet and peaceful and used to come and sit in a very humble manner near our table. There was no way me or anyone could be the least bit frightened of him, it was as if his presence even was not to be felt. He was just there and content in his existence. It was then unconsciously that I looked away and saw myself looking directly into the soulful eyes of that quiet dog. I couldn’t turn my gaze away and the feeling was that of absolute calm , of such sheer joy that its beauty cannot be expressed. I knew that day that something had changed forever.
Since I came back I knew there was something I had to do but was not finding the time for it. I kept putting it off until yesterday when my feet themselves took me to the door of my landlady’s house where I had never set foot because of those dogs. What followed was the most amazing experience of my life. My landlady was extremely happy but happier than her was I who loved the attention and love being bestowed upon her by the dogs and I felt contented touching and stroking their heads. Amongst dog licks and kisses I had discovered a new way of celebrating life and his creation and this added a new joy to my everyday existence. The thought and the feeling filled everything up inside me to the brim. I knew it was something special that was happening to me. The gaps, the voids were being filled.
As I think again about this incidence I realize that everything happened because I had allowed myself the luxury of the same. I had understood sometime back that I needed to let myself free and float, move along with the flow. I had knowingly and unknowingly been fighting against it for too long. That the feeling of lightness, the unburdening would follow if I just let go and move on. That I knew everything yet wasn’t accepting it. I could only move forward if I chose to and I did.
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