A False Sense of Security

I read a line recently that went –

“Here is a test to find whether your mission on earth is finished. If you’re alive it isn’t.”

Illusions. A lot of experiences in life have taught me one fundamental truth that each one of us chooses to live life in our particular illusions. Which is fine especially given the fact that we are human and hence need our beliefs to survive. As I have always stated that humans find it impossible to live in a state of suspension. If they could their life would be a lot simpler as they would be far more receptive and the learning almost instant.

Thus the duration of each person’s illusions vary as per their ability to change and grow. Time then has the ultimate power. Only with time and the experiences that it offers – good or bad, does realization come that propels change and growth in us. Realization may take a couple of seconds but reaching that state might take months, years and sometimes lifetimes. But one thing is for sure once true realization happens it brings about a permanent change undeterred by anything that life can offer and ready to face any test or challenge that might come our way to test our faith.

As we learn and grow we become stronger because we realize greater truths and see that which other cannot. We are on the path and moving towards the primal truth and this knowledge grows as we keep moving in that direction making us a much more stronger spirit.

But as every upside has a downside too so does this strength that we gain have its dangers. The biggest danger and obstacle to our path of final realization is this false sense of security when we stop believing that we need to learn anything more. The day we start thinking that we are perfect and that we don’t need to grow any longer in human form, that we have learnt, analyzed and understood all there is to about life is the day we stop growing. It is the day we start forgetting why we are still in human form.

All Content including Pictures are Copyrighted 2006- 2008 © Shruti Bansal.
Copying or Using the content without permission is punishable and offenders will be liable for prosecution.

Another Dawn

It was a windy evening. The rains in Bangalore were at their torrid best. I managed to scramble back home somehow in the rain and make it inside my one room apartment. Suddenly I heard a noise. There was someone else in my house. As I looked around to place the noise my gaze suddenly fell on the gap between the wall and the kitchen ceiling, which was tiled and fell on both sides of the walls.

A pigeon had made her nest there. I looked on in wonder. It was the first time I had such a unique guest in my house. I welcomed her presence and felt a sudden elation. Without giving any more thought to it I went about my usual tasks before turning in for the night. It was a few days later when I opened my front gate and stepped out to pick up the newspaper after making my tea when I nearly stepped on an open eggshell. The egg was quite small and very different from the usual hen’s egg and my delight knew no bounds as I checked the nest immediately to see that the pigeon had given birth to three little sweethearts. I felt very happy and it seemed I had my own little family. It was as if I could feel the pleasure of the birth somehow .At that moment I had a strong urge to pick up the small ones in my hands and hug them.

But as all positives also have some negatives to it I soon realized that caring for my new found family wasn’t going to be easy. Soon my kitchen floor was to be full of pigeon shit and amazingly they managed quite a bit of it amongst themselves in a single day. There was ample amount of it both inside the house and outside on the steps leading to the kitchen door. Wonder what they ate the whole day long. However neither cleaning the considerable amount of mess everyday nor the stench that filled the apartment and my dreams as I slept at night bothered me. I could not think of ever parting ways or shooing them away. They were part of my life. They had chosen to take shelter in my house and no way was I going to turn them out in the cold of the outside world wondering each day what had happened to them and whether they were safe. As long as they were in front of my eyes it was so much better. I could not bear that any harm should come to them and images of nearby alley cats destroying our happiness and threatening our world was already in my mind and plans to be alert and thwart any advances by them had already been put in place. Cement bricks had been collected and the watchman’s son warned against any possible attacks and subsequent measures to be taken. He was also made to repeat the instructions just so he didn’t get any of them wrong. Nothing could happen to my little family as long as I was alive and kicking.

Last two weeks I was busy with office work and travelling to and fro to Gurgaon. Before leaving last week I had left some dry porridge and water for the pigeons to have. When I came back this weekend I was surprised to see no pigeon shit and the nest also wasn’t to be seen. I wondered whether they had gone out for a holiday and will come back or whether they have flown away for good. It’s been two days since and there has been no sign of return. I have checked that empty space a couple of hundred times and tried to listen to the flutter of wings. As I missed my feathered friends I realized what another living being means to us and what it is really to care for another living being. I also realized another important truth of existence, that its never the quantity but the quality of life that matters. Although the pigeons were there only for a short while at my home but I am sure neither of us will forget the other, and what we silently exchanged with whatever understanding of life we had.

And if it is indeed the quality of life that we can offer to another being that makes the difference then are we really doing so? This brings me closer home and to those who are our loved ones but are most often than not neglected. Our older generation, our elders. We might love them a lot and wish them to remain alive always but what is the quality of life that we offer to them. Are we near them sharing there day to day moments , giving them happiness , doing things they like to do with us , making them feel important in their old age , fulfilling their dreams even without their asking or would we rather stay away from them and extend our love from a distance happy in the knowledge that they are living their day to day mundane lives in which they have convinced themselves to settle down .Is that how we justify our love to all the elders in our lives and is this the value we place to their companionship ? If yes are we not depriving ourselves because the love of our near and dear ones is a blessing few have the good fortune to embrace.

All Content including Pictures are Copyrighted 2006- 2008 © Shruti Bansal.
Copying or Using the content without permission is punishable and offenders will be liable for prosecution.

Happy Birthday Papa

12 th October is my father’s birthday and starting of navratri’s or pujo as they call in my sweet Bengal as well . But this was the first time he was all alone. My father is a sweet loveable old man who never likes his birthday celebrated. Hates it if you get a cake and ask him to cut it and doesn’t want presents at any cost. So what do you do for such a guy. Well you think and you try to be different.

So yours truly thought and she thought and she thought and eureka she got an idea. As they say an Idea can change your life or whatever else that they say. Now as long as I remember I have loved watching movies and I sure do have taken these genes from him . A die hard romantic he always talks of love in a whimsical manner and in his hey days has watched Mugh le azam at least 20 times .I remember being kept awake at night and tortured to listen to its dialogues as a tiny tot who couldn’t fathom any of the heavy words being used and would have given her right arm to go sleep in her soft bed that night. Of course his first love is cricket but am so glad I wasn’t born a son and as a daughter although I tried my level best the bat never managed to touch the ball.

Anyways back to movies - so as my father grew older and hence I also grew up we started (movie) dating each other. I remember many a times when after a weary day at work my father would come in a cab to pick me up for a night show. He likes to watch silently and I appreciate that immensely while watching a movie and so we make a good pair. Last time when I went to cal to meet him we saw the namesake together. He said that he had stopped seeing movies since I had left.

But this time unfortunately I am not being able to go home. However pop is getting a very unique birthday present. He is going to get a surprise visit from one of my best friends who is like family to me and in cal for holidays. She is going to take him in style to a show of Bhool Bhulayiya on my behalf, as my proxy. Hope this will be a gift that he will remember and keep the tradition alive till I see him next.

PS – This is going to happen in a day or two as soon as both are free and since pop doesn’t read my posts am safe and I am waiting for that phone call from him eagerly.

All Content including Pictures are Copyrighted 2006- 2008 © Shruti Bansal.
Copying or Using the content without permission is punishable and offenders will be liable for prosecution.